Goodbye 2009..

Pejam celik,pejam celik dah nak berakhir rupanya tahun 2009 ni..Bermacam kenangan, manis,pahit semua dah aku rasai tahun 2009 ni..Esok dah bermula tahun baru,2010..So,ni merupakan post terakhir aku utk tahun 2009 ni..hehehe

Kalau nak ikutkan, banyak pahit drpd yg manis yg aku alami tahun ni and rasanya tak perlu nak ungkit lagi apa peristiwa tu coz rasanya dah banyak akli aku mention dlm blog ni hehe..Takpela, let bygones be bygones..Aku dah berazam nak ubah segala2nya dalam hidup aku utk 2010 ni...But,actually 2009 ni banyak jgk perkara2 yg baik berlaku dlm hidup aku mcm dpt jugak aku menjadi pelajar uitm huhu..UITM DI HATIKU..Kah kah..semangat btul hehe

Untuk tahun 2010 ni,aku ada beberapa azam utk dicapai beserta azam2 tahun 2009 yg tak tercapai lagi.Aku rasa tak perlu nak mention apa azam2 aku tu coz kalau bagitahu berjela2 pun tapi in the end,tak dpt capai jgk tak guna jgk kan?

So,di kesempatan ini saya ingin memohon maaf kepada semua insan ( ceh poyo sungguh ayat) yg pernah saya sakiti atau pernah tersinggung sepanjang tahun ini..Saya juga berterima kasih kpd mereka2 yg selama ni telah banyak membantu saya..

Akhir kata, SELAMAT TAHUN BARU..HAPPY NEW YEAR kepada semua...

GOOD BYE 2009............

I HATE YOU..............

I HATE YOU EHEP

I HATE YOU EHEP

I HATE YOU EHEP

AAAHHHHHH!!! Nape aku tak dpt check lagi bilik mane aku dpt?? WHY? WHY?

Rasanye mcm aku sorg jew yg still tak dpt check lagi...Dahla brapa ari jew lagi nak kena daftar..

Nasib bek la umah aku dekat dgn kolej,kalo jauh mmg sah aku dah bakar pejabat kolej tu....

Kalo aku still tak dpt jgk check sampai jumaat ni,I guess i shouln't go n daftar la on saturday ni...

AAAAAHHHH....... I...HATE...YOUUUUUUU....EHEPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP.

Live Like We're Dying..

Live Like We're Dying"

Sometimes we fall down and can't get back up
We're hiding behind skin that's too tough
How come we don't say "I love you" enough
'Till it's too late, it's not too late

Our hearts are hungry for a food that won't come
We could make a feast from these crumbs
And we're all staring down the barrel of a gun
So if your life flashed before you
What would you wish you would've done?

Yeah... we gotta start
Looking at the hands of the time we've been given here
This is all we got and we gotta start pickin it
Every second counts on a clock that's tickin'
Gotta live like we're dying

We only got
86,400 seconds in a day too
Turn it all around or to throw it all away
We gotta tell 'em that we love 'em
While we got the chance to say
Gotta live like we're dying

And if your plane fell out of the skies
Who would you call with your last goodbye?
Should be so careful who we live out our lives
So when we long for absolution
There'll no one on the line

Yeah... we gotta start
Looking at the hands of the time we've been given here
This is all we got and we gotta start pickin it
Every second counts on a clock that's tickin'
Gotta live like we're dying

We only got
86,400 seconds in a day to
Turn it all around or to throw it all away
We gotta tell 'em that we love 'em
While we got the chance to say
Gotta live like we're dying

Like we're dying, oh, like we're dying [x2]

We only got
86,400 seconds in a day to
Turn it all around or to throw it all away
We gotta tell 'em that we love 'em
While we got the chance to say
Gotta live like we're dying

You never know a good thing 'til it's gone
You never see a crash 'til it's head on
All those people right when we're dead wrong
You never know a good thing 'til it's gone

Yeah... we gotta start
Looking at the hands of the time we've been given here
This is all we got and we gotta start pickin it
Every second counts on a clock that's tickin'
Gotta live like we're dying

We only got
86,400 seconds in a day to
Turn it all around or to throw it all away
We gotta tell 'em that we love 'em
While we got the chance to say
Gotta live like we're dying

I really like this song..Actually I've been listening to this song since 3-4 months ago and I really love it even at the very 1st time haha..It's really catchy and I am also a fan of Kris Allen, so that's maybe the reason why this song has been the no 1 song in my heart for quite a long time haha..The video clip is awesome..very nice..It's waay better than Adam Lambert's FOR YOUR ENTERTAINMENT video..haha geli tgk video clip dia..So freakin gay..owh i forgot, HE IS, A GAY..huhu I just don't get it why some people still think that Adam is more deserve to win..To me, Kris really deserve it..His voice is so freakin good..If i were given a chance to be a singer, I would love to have his voice haha..I started to like him when he sang SHE WORKS HARD FOR THE MONEY during the weekly concert in American Idol..He made the song 360 degrees different from the original version by a woman..And I also love his HEARTLESS version more tha Kanye West's version haha..He's really good and I have his album, and I can say that, almost all the song in his album is worth listening..

I love this song coz it reminds me how precious and short our lives are, so I gotta live my life as if I'm going to die tomorrow..haha Besides, there's no point for me to think about my past..It's better if I just Live like I'm dying...huhu

Hati Yang Kau Sakiti

Last Sunday I got a message..from S.. Dia kata dia ada something nak bagitahu aku..Mula2 dia tanya nape aku tak dtg majlis tunang dia hari tu..aku pun just bagi alasan la kat dia..Tapi tak tahu nape, dia sendiri yg kata dia tahu aku tak dtg mesti sebab aku tak sanggup tgk dia jadi tunang orang..Aku tanya drpd mana dia tahu? dia ckp Hasan ( best fren aku ) bagitahu dia yg aku masih cintakan dia sampai sekarang..Aku tak kata ape2 pun bila dia ckp camtu..And then, dia bagitahu yg ada something yg dia nak terus-terang pada aku..Dia kata sepatutnya dah lama dia bagitahu benda ni kat aku..Dia kata dia taknak terus dibelenggu rasa bersalah pada aku..Aku tak paham apa maksud dia..And then,dia bagitahu yg sebenarnya dulu dia terima aku sebagai kekasih dia just utk buat ex dia ( which is her fiancee rite now ) cemburu..Dia kata pada awalnya, dia tak berniat nak go on dgn relationship dia dgn aku, tapi dia rasa kesian n bersalah nak terus-terang pada aku ttg hal sebenar,makin lama makin dia nampak yg aku betul2 cintakan dia and itu buat dia rasa lagi bersalah and tak sanggup nak bagitahu aku perkara sebenar..And dia kata ternyata,apa yg dia hajatkan pada mulanya menjadi coz ex dia btul2 cemburu and merayu dia utk balik..



Dia kata lepas dia dah baik balik dgn ex dia, dia nak terus terang dgn aku ttg hal sebenar..Tapi dia tak sanggup nak bagitahu sendiri..Jadi dia dgn tunang dia plan utk aku nampak kononnya dia curang so that nampak mcm dia yg salah and prempuan jahat dgn harapan aku akan tinggalkan dia n benci pada dia..Dia kata dia rela dia buruk di mata aku drpd dia bagitahu perkara sebenar pada aku..Dia kata mesej yg aku dpt yg bagitahu dia tgh curang dgn lelaki len masa kerja tu sebenarnya tunang dia yg hantar..And dia kata, dia ingat dgn buat mcmtu aku akan mintak putus and aku akan benci pada dia,tapi dia tak sangka yg aku langsung tak marah atau bencikan dia malah aku relakan dia dgn tunang dia tu..Jadi dia pikir mungkin aku dah dapat terima semua tu jadi dia pun lega coz aku tak tahu perkara sebenar..

Aku tak tahu apa nak reply masa tu..aku just tanya dia " Habis selama ni,semua sayang n cinta yg awak kata pd saya bukanlah dtg drpd hati awk? Awk just gunakan saya utk dptkan ex awk balik? " And suprisingly, dia kata YES.. Aku tak tahu nak ckp apa lagi pastu..aku rasa mcm kena tikam..Aku rasa sakit yg teramat, lebih sakit drpd masa aku tahu dia curang dulu..aku langsung tak balas msg dia lagi pastu walaupun dia msg berkali2, call berkali2..Aku tak tahu apa yg aku nak ckp pada dia lagi..Hati aku rasa sakit sgt2..Tak sangka, bertahun2 aku sia2 kan hidup aku, sia2 kan hati aku mencintai dia..Rupa-rupanya, semua tu sia-sia..

Aku tak rasa sedih n sakit macam ni masa tau dia curang..Aku pikir mungkin aku yg silap selama ni coz maybe aku tak dpt bahagiakan dia,sbb tu dia curang..Sebab tu aku relakan dia dgn laki tu..Aku terus cintai dia even dia bukan milik aku lagi dulu coz aku tau walaupun hati dia dah takda pada aku, tapi at least kitorg pernah saling mencintai..Tapi tak sangka, rupa2nya aku tertipu...Dia tak pernah cintakan aku..Dia tak pernah sayangkan aku..Selama ni, semua tu cuma lakonan dia..Aku memang bodoh..bodoh kerana fikir yg dia pun cintakan aku jgk...Sepatutnya aku sedar drpd dulu yg aku mmg bukan pilihan dia..Tapi aku buta..buta dgn segala KASIH SAYANG, segala CINTA yg dia curahkan pada aku..

Semalam dia ada msg, dia kata yg dia tak berniat dedahkan itu semua utk buat aku sakit hati..Cuma dia nak aku berhenti cintakan dia..Dia kata dia tak berhak dicintai aku..Dia taknak rasa bersalah lagi..Dia kata dia harap aku lupakan perasaan cinta aku pada dia....Tapi aku tak reply pun msg dia..Cuma aku betul2 kecewa yg dia tak bagitahu benda ni drpd dulu..Kitorg bercinta bkn sebulan dua, tapi 2 tahun..2 tahun dia tipu aku and bertahun2 lagi lepas tu pun dia masih tak terus-terang kat aku..Aku mmg bodoh, aku mmg lelaki yg paling bodoh, Bodoh sbb percaya dia pun cintakan aku mcmmana aku cintakan dia...... And aku rasa S dah dpt apa yg dia hajatkan pada aku selama ni, mulai sekarang, aku betul2 akan berhenti mencintai dia..Malah bukan dia je, aku dah taknak mencintai org lain lagi pasni...Cukuplah semua tangisan, kesakitan dan kesengsaraan yg aku alami selama ni..And utk S, hope awk happy coz saya dah tunaikan permintaan awk.Tapi saya mintak maaf coz saya tak dapat tunaikan permintaan awk supaya saya bencikan awk..Even pun selama ni awk cuma pura2 pada saya tp saya tak tahu kenapa,saya mmg tak boleh bencikan awk..Mungkin cinta,mungkin kebodohan..Tapi satu yg saya janji : Mulai hari ni, saya, ALIF FARHAN BIN MOHD RAMLAN akan BUANG jauh2 "CINTA" saya..
Takde apa lagi yg saya nak kata pada awk..Harap awak bahagia dgn dia..Terima kasih utk segala CINTA dan SAYANG awk pada saya..

HATI YANG KAU SAKITI

Jangan pernah katakan bahwa cintamu hanyalah untukku
Kerna kini kau telah membaginya
Maafkan jika memang kini harus kutinggalkan dirimu
Karena hatiku slalu kau lukai
Tak ada lagi yang bisa ku lakukan tanpamu
Ku hanya bisa mengatakan apa yg kurasa

Ku menangis... membayangkan
Betapa kejamnya dirimu atas diriku
Kau duakan cinta ini
Kau pergi bersamanya

Ku menangis... melepaskan
Kepergian dirimu dari sisi hidupku
Harus slalu kau tahu
Akulah hati yg telah kau sakiti

Maafkan jika memang kini harus kutinggalkan dirimu
Karena hatiku slalu kau lukai
Tak ada lagi yang bisa ku lakukan tanpamu
Ku hanya bisa mengatakan apa yg kurasa

Ku menangis... membayangkan
Betapa kejamnya dirimu atas diriku
Kau duakan cinta ini
Kau pergi bersamanya

Ku menangis... melepaskan
Kepergian dirimu dari sisi hidupku
Harus slalu kau tahu
Akulah hati yg telah kau sakiti

Ku menangis...
Harus slalu kau tahu
Akulah hati yang telah....
Kau sakiti...

Dilema

Ketika malam penuh bintang

Di antara cahaya temaram

Kau beri aku kesejukan

Tapi hatiku bimbang

Kau tanya apakah kubisa

Membuka hatiku untukmu

Ku tak bisa berkata-kata

Airmata yang bicara

Sesungguhnya ku ingin dirimu

Untuk cairkan hatiku yang beku

Tapi aku belum siap

Aku jadi dilema..

Aku tak mahu menyakitimu

Kerna hati ini masih ragu

Tapi aku butuh cinta

Aku jadi dilema..

Aku ingin..tapiku tak bisa

Apakah ini nyata atau mimpi belaka

Ku takut rindu..bila tak lagi bertemu

Haruskah kuterima cinta yang dilema...

Owh god...what should I do?? I don't wanna hurt her feelings but what am I supposed to do??

Well, she's been a very great help all this while, help me get thru all the pain and suffer..but I'm not sure if I'm ready for this..I'm afraid that if I tell her the truth, things will not be the same anymore..What if I just accept it? NO!! I can't lie to her bout' my feelings..I need her in my life, but not in this way..She doesn't deserve to be treated that way ..

I admit that she's always there thru my ups n downs all this while..And, it's true that she really2 know how to make me feel good when I was down..But I've never thought that things are gonna be like this..Owh god plz plz plz...What should I do??

Bella Oh Bella..

BELLA

Nape tiba2 aku ckp pasal Bella ni? adakah aku dah jumpa org baru? Namanya Bella? Haha saje buat suspens hehe actually the reason why aku berbicara ttg BELLA ni adalah utk berkongsi ttg sesuatu...Semuanya dtg tiba2 je sebenarnya.. Ok,actually aku ni bukan layan sgt sinetron2 kat tv ni tapi tak tau nape sepanjang cuti ni, aku layan jgk satu sinetron kat tv3 ni.. Tajuk dia TASBIH CINTA..Tak tau kenape aku bole tertarik pada mulanya utk tgk citer ni..Maybe bcoz cuti sem ni boring sgt takde watpe so aku pun layan la jgk hehe.. Ok nak dijadikan cerita, aku cukup tertarik dgn watak utama sinetron ni iaitu BELLA..Kelakar tgk dia hari2, walaupun mcm bodoh2 sikit tapi dia cantik huhu tapi sebenarnnya bukan tu yg aku nak ceritakan..Apa yg aku nak ceritakan ialah ttg betapa mudah dan kerapnya aku tertarik or suka pada apa2 saja yg berkaitan dgn nama BELLA..Sejak dulu lagi,apa2 saja yg ada kaitan dgn BELLA, aku mesti tertarik..So, no wonder la aku layan sinetron tu coz nama watak dia BELLA and nama pelakon watak BELLA tu pun is Laudya Cynthia BELLA..Haha see the connection?




Ok,actually banyak benda dlm hidup aku yg berkaitan dgn BELLA ni..Tak taula kenapa aku suka sgt nama BELLA ni..hehe Ok mula2 sekali, dulu aku ada bela seekor arnab betina and aku namakan dia BELLA.. tak tau nape, tapi masa tu aku mmg suka dgn nama tu..But unfortunately, BELLA hilang..

Ok,apart from that,I used to like a song called,IsaBELLA..huhu and then one of my favourite Jason Mraz's songs is also called , BELLA LUNA... eventhough this song is not really famous but I really like the song..Dunno why..haha





Ok in terms of movie pulak, one of the malay movies yg aku suka la jgk coz I think it's kinda different is Laila IsaBELLA..See? another connection haha and of course, Twilight...I love BELLA Swan...Sape tak suka kat dia kan? Pretty,cool sweet huhu

Ok,another thing is, I'm a biggest fan of Harry Potter..When i read the book, apart from Harry, I actually kinda like one of the villains in the story..Her name is BELLAtrix Lestrange..I love the character coz i think she's really cool..Ya, she's a villain but who could've thought that a woman can be that kind of fierce? haha and what makes it perfect when it was filmed is that a woman who plays the character is also a brilliant actor..She is exactly like what I imagine when I read the book..And once again, the name is associated with BELLA..Huhu

And lastly, one of my classmates' name is also BELLA ..Well, she's a nice girl..hehe Who knows? maybe she would be my next one? hehe just kidding...BELLA, jgn mara yek? : p

So, nampak tak? Aku mudah sgt tertarik dgn apa2 je yg bernama BELLA kan? hehe tak taula kenapa nama tu mcm senang sgt nak melekat kat hati ni..hehe..

Alhamdulillah.......

Semalam adalah hari yg paling ditunggu2 oleh semua warga Uitm kerana semalam merupakan hari di mana result final exam diumumkan...Perasaan aku ketika itu berdebar2 kerana bimbang akan keputusan yg bakal diterima..Mestilah risau, kalau dpt pointer bwh drpd 3.oo, jawabnya ke cawangan lah next sem hehe

TETAPI............

Hehe saje je buat suspens.. ALHAMDULILLAH... aku lulus dan terselamat daripada ditendang ke cawangan dan ini bermakna aku masih lagi bergelar FAST TRACKER for the next sem..hehe


Here's my result :

AIS 130 : A+

BEL 120 : A

CTU 101 : A

ECO 162 : A

FAR 100 : A+

MAT 126 : A+

MGT 153 : A

KESATRIA : B+

My overall grade is 3.97..ALHAMDULILLAH eventhough I wasn't expected to get banyak tu..Sipi nak 4 flat but as I expected, kesatria mesti kantoi sikit and I was right..hehe..Apepun aku bersyukur dgn result ni..It was totally unexpected except for kesat la hehe dah mmg agak dah mesti tak dpt A coz aku tak ganti pun yg aku MC dulu hehe.. Tapi aku tak sangka yg aku bley dpt A+ utk Ais hehe mcm tak caye jew bila tgk padahal mmg tak expect langsung bley dpt A.. And as for the rest subject, alhamdulillah..And syukur jgk coz aku dpt dean's list hehe alhamdulillah..

Di sini saya ingin mengambil kesempatan utk mengucapkan jutaan terima kasih kpd semua lecterur2 yg telah mengajar saya spnjg semester yg lalu kerana tanpa berkat dan bantuan kalian,tak mungkin saya berjaya memperoleh keputusan seperti ini... Thanx to Pn Salina, Miss Raihan, Ustazah Rasidah, Miss Leyla, Pn Ilmiah, Sir Kamaruzaman, Sir Hafiz and last but not least... Cikgu Mat.. ( half hearted je ni hehe ).. And terima kasih jgk pada kawan2 semua yg banyak membantu.. Tahniah juga pada rakan2 yg dpt 4 flat, sipi2 mcm saya atau pun dean's list..Tahniah..pada yg tak dpt, jgn berduka, usaha lagi next sem..CHAIYOK CHAIYOK...

Photo..

A photo can say a thousand things
But it can't say the million things I wanna say
A photo can capture the way we were
But it can't capture the way we are
'Cause you're far away
What it's like to know you
What it's like to touch you

When you told me that you loved me
were those just words
You can't tell me you don't need me
and I know that hurts
'Cause I'm looking at your picture
'Cause it's all I've got
Maybe one day
You and me will have one more shot

Timing lost minutes and moments
And I might be lonely girl
But I'm not afraid
In a second
It all comes right back to me
Nothing's forgotten now
Yeah everything's saved
What it's like to touch you
What it's like to know you

When you told me that you loved me
were those just words
You can't tell me you don't need me
and I know that hurts
'Cause I'm looking at your picture
'Cause it's all I've got
Maybe one day
You and me will have one more shot

You were my life
you were my faith
You gave me hope every day

When you told me that you loved me
were those just words
You can't tell me you don't need me
and I know that hurts
'Cause I'm looking at your picture
'Cause it's all I've got
Maybe one day
You and me will have one more shot

Congratulations, S for ur engagement tomorrow.. I'm sorry I can't make it coz I don't think i'm strong enough to see you and him..I wish u all the happiness in the world... I'll always pray for your happiness..

The GREATEST birthday of my life..

Yesterday, as i was expected, was sucks...eventhough my family did celebrate it but it was nothing to me..not that i'm not appreciate what they've done for me but i don't know, i feel nothing bout it.. plus, my bestfren didn't even wish me anything..What's wrong with u? have i done anythg wrong to u? if i did, plz let me know...don't do this to me..we have been bestfren since we were in form 1..


And as for S, as i was expected, she didn't remember my birthday anymore..Sometimes it's kinda weird rite how people can change, in a blink of an eye??

Anyway,everyone... Thanx for the GREATEST birthday I've ever had in my life....